Dear Diary,

Sometimes my humans can be so thick! I put my toys in the places that I want them to be, I get them all positioned how I like them, and then they come in, gather them all up and put them in a basket. I mean come on! How many times do we have to do this song and dance? I put my toys where I want them, they pick them all up, I want until they leave the house and then I pull them all out again. You’d think they would have gotten it by now that I have very specific and calculated locations that I like for my toys to be in. You don’t see me going into their bedrooms and closets and moving all of their stuff around! Ok, so there was that one time, but I swear I thought the TV remote was my bone. It’s an honest mistake.

How would they feel if they found their stuff they’d organized perfectly now moved and shoved into one little, cramped basket! It is not my fault that they keep tripping on my stuffed frog at the bottom of the stairs. They know I like to keep him there. I say pay more attention and stop tripping over him. I don’t like it when they block me into the kitchen with baby gates, but you don’t see me gripping over it all the time. They should just call it all an even trade. The way I see it, we share the house, so we need to share the space and share the rule making. I mean, I’m nice enough allowing them to have most of the control a grand majority of the time, but dogs are not always best known for their patience and some things I simply won’t budge on; like having my toys constantly removed from the designated locations throughout the house!

It’s a perfect system I have set up, too. One toy gets placed in each area of the house that I frequent. That way when I’m in a specific area and want to play, there’s already a toy there because, seriously, who wants to go all the way back downstairs to pull a toy out of a basket in the living room when you’ve already made your circles and found a soft place to lay down upstairs. It seems only logical to already have a toy there. Please correct me if I am wrong, but I don’t think I am. They’ll catch on one day I’m sure, I just have to keep training them. It’s true what they say, you really can’t teach old humans new tricks. Wish me luck!